Death Incarnate (Completed)
- Sexual Content
- Traumatising content
Kei was a menace or called by most, a demon. He gets into bloody fights with others. Which makes him a problem to the common folk and criminals alike. But he can't win forever. So, his life came to a close with another merciless brawl. With Kei trying to take as much of them to hell and in his final moments, he never regretted his decisions in this mad world filled with cruelty. If the world is cruel to you then be more crueler back.
Then he received a second chance in a sword & magic world but with a condition from the Goddess of Death.
To save the Demon race.
Note: Don't expect a good story, it's just smut trash as my first published fiction.
Updates are infrequent and may or may not revise these chapters.
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Okay. This is my first review on RRL, so please don't be hard on me.
The Style is pretty good overall. It is readable and I don't have any problems with it. Still, it doesn't stand out or anything like that.
Personally, I like the story. That must be me, since I just like subjects like warped MCs and power of death and similar stuff. I think it isn't a bad story, and nothing really happens without a reason. It is explained pretty well, the world building has been done pretty well too, and it feels pretty fleshed out.
This is probably the story's only fault. I mean, I won't judge. Back when I started out, I was a lot worse. Plus, it's readable, which is much better than most. Still, grammar can be improved. A PR would probably help out a lot. Personally, I got a lot better after reading other stories with good grammar. My grammar right now is a lot better than before, and I think that the author can do that as well.
I like it. I just like warped MCs that acknowledge that, yes, they're fucked up, but they aren't the worst ones out there. In this case, if you're nice he's good, if you're naughty he might very well be the worst one out there. I don't feel like anything's forced or anything (might be me), so overall, this is a strong point.
This was my review. Also, if you don't like OP MCs you really shouldn't read this.
So I just finished this story, and it was pleasureable. Seeing a story with an ending here on RR is awesome.
Now for the critique.
The characters need more flesh. Reading your story, this is probably where you need to focus in future writings. The backstory, thoughts and inner workings of your characters and their minds need more attention. You used a broad stroke on everything, and it leaves something to be desired. Now with an OP MC, its not the how but the why that matters. A real fight usually occurs with a wham bam, it's over ma'am.
For myself, who enjoys an overpowered main character, you have to really get into their head and fully flesh out thoughts, desires, actions, reactions, what drives them, their 'reverse scale'and why it is, such to make the story great. We all know the MC is going to win, we want the character interaction's and details.
You could totally have made more books off this story by making it a war between gods, Deco using a hero summon to win worlds or destroy faith power bases of the 'white prostitute'.
This story has the worst curse upon it, absolutely terrible grammar. Like, I actually gave up and had to come back to try again.
The shitty thing is that it's not a bad story in itself, I genuinely like the character types being portrayed, the side war thing is a bit fun, and it's short and sweet.
It just fails, so god damn hard, at being something fit for human eyes. The entire story needs a native English speaker to sit down and help edit the story.
Was a alright read, through there are much problems. The author wrote it as a fantasy/wishfullfillment dark-ish isekai story, and its good if you treat it as one.
The characters arent that much, but still they are decently done overall. The MC stands out as being better developed than the others, but thats not much, since the other characters are barely anything, through this can be attributed to the fast pace and short length of the story, also the fact that the author was not trying at making well developed side characters. A warning through is that the MC and some of the side characters have basically no limits on what they do to their enemies (basically almost everyone else) this does mean that theres 18+ content in this novel such as sexual acts, torture, gore and so on. So dont read if such content does offend you or you simply dont like reading it.
The story is pretty cliched, and i dont blame the author for that, he did a decent job at writing the world, the overall plot and sorta making it interesting despite the amount of Isekai cliches in this story. Through the story could certainly use more detail, the chapter near the end are especially a problem in that, since they are rushed, all problems for the MC and side characters just does disappear.
Grammar is a major problem in this novel, with most chapters being not edited at all, only the first chapters have any editing done for them. There are just so many mistakes with tense, spelling and miss-typings that it makes the story harder to read at times. It also does not look like the author is going to fully revise those chapters, considering this is his first novel. On the other side the author did his best at making a story for people to enjoy, overall his writing style is decent.
Overall, a okay novel to read if you like power-fantasy, a antihero isekai novel, or just want to spend time on reading something without caring for quality.