Idmon the Skeleton
- Traumatising content
[Participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]
What would a minion do if his master died before him? What would a servant do without its master? What would a Skeleton Soldier do without his Skeleton King?
Have you asked yourself this question? Well if you do that’s nice. I think you already know how this story will go.
In a world where goodness already prevailed. When the just have earned their place and the righteous has struck true. Is there a place left for evil forces? I mean about evil forces is like monsters and evil beings.
The bad thing is a Skeleton Soldier is having a hard time.
And from here Idmon’s story will unfold.
My name is Idmon, Halo! English is not my first language but do enjoy my work and forgive my minor errors. I work alone and I’m also the one to fix errors so bear with me. Thanks for checking this out since this is my first novel here in RoyalRoadL
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Your novel is really great, but there are few flaws that puts me off. You don't explain a lot, you wrote how he casts ice magic, but you didn't tell about lighting. One moment MC spear broke, in next fight he using spear again. One sentense they are walking in other they are fighting behemoth.
What I want to say is that you rush this story little to much. take your time.
As i continue to read it one more thing is buggin me. with is conversation. They are really forced. I don't know how to explain this. It's like they have no personality. Or you are just writing those conversations as a fillers of this story.
Should really fix this.
Other than that. your story is great !
Firstly, my english writing skills are bad so, i have to apologize beforehand.
Then, well its nice written but boring at some point. Noting interesting happens for me and i dont feel curious "what will happen now?". MC is rarely in trouble, or troubles that mc find himself in are told in boring ways. But there is good things too (for me as i say before) and they are: story arent cliche (for a web novel), plot armor doesnt taste bad unlike others (i think pretty much of web novel's problem is their plot-armors are unbeliavable), characters are not bad, they not fully characters but not bad either (forgive me for comparing it again with other novels. in other novels mostly characters arent characters but only clones and dont have voices they have own and in good novels every character is special and they have a voice that you can differ them you know what i mean. in this novel it seems characters are at average, not bad not good.)
One complaint: the author may want to add the "traumatizing content" tag for... reasons. Other than that, it's executed exactly as the author planned, with little errors here and there but they're nearly unnoticeable.
Read for a good antihero LitRPG story. Although... I think the author's kind of pushing it with the mass-releases of chapters. Idmon needs to chill and take a break at some point. Maybe write, review, and plan for a week or two after each massive chapter dump. Too many stories go downhill because they're rushed.
My picky self also thinks the characters and battles are a bit stiff though. That's my opinion.
The story is fantastic one of the best on royalroad but the aoutor takes breaks of a little bit to often I don’t want 10 chapter at day and the fact I don’t pay for read the story I can’t really get angry or something similar but make me sad to wait month of year for the next 10 o less chapter and then another pause I’m hoping that the writer start make chapter whit regularity.
Bro, your story is good but it is kinda itchy. I don't know why but when I am reading the chapters and some texts, I keep on scratching the whole time. Also, there are times that I am developing an allregy because of the itchiness of the story but don't worry, I always drink my medicine for me to keep on reading because it is somewhat itchy and allergic. But bro, as I go deep on reading, the itchiness is going worse and I don't know why. Even typing this comment on your story is itchy.
P.S Great story bro, and I would really appreciate if you could reduce the itchiness in your story, bro. And also, I will donate some money and medicine so you could reduce the itchiness.
P.P.S Solid stuffs but kinda itch
Another P.S I gave you 4 and a half star because yes, admittedly it is one of the best but there is an itchiness.
And hey also, If I'm reading other fictions it is not itchy af, but when I'm reading yours, I kept on scratching all over the body.
Thank you for the story bro-dono. Keep on doing your stuff. By the way, this is how I critic a story. It's always by the level of itchiness. Thanks bro-sensei.
Pretty solid for a non-native. The phrasing is a bit awkward at times, but it doesn't stop the reading flow.
The characters and interaccions feel like a shonen/xianxia/wuxia/you-know-what-i-mean. That means little variety, either admiration or hostility towards the mc, and little else.
The story is not too original. Reminds me a lot of Re:Monster, which I love. The whole 'journey of a weak critter to the top of the food chain, plus the making of an army' is very overused, but done right is loads of fun. And so far it's not half bad.
Tl;dr: Thumbs up. Silly fun will be had.
So I went into this thinking it was like most other novels with a skeleton MC. Turns out I got a pleasant surprise. I'm loving the story so far. Also, well done learning the language so well, I'm not a person who looks for grammar mistakes, but so far I haven't seen anything that bugs me.