Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Join Murphy as he steps into the world of a Cosmic Game with far reaching implications. Laugh and cry as you watch him struggle like an ant to subvert terrible luck, develop a basic modicum of common sense and form at least a tiny speck of ability to socialise with others. Then be awed as he climbs to the very pinnacle of this Game World to pry free the shackles of the perversely cruel Game System that has cursed him!

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  • Grammar Score
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Author
Noddy Sparks

Noddy Sparks

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drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
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Kenboy
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The title does this novel no justice!

Character: This is the holy grail of the story. I love Murphy's character development and how much detail is put into the side-characters. Some other positive stuff I noticed are you don't simply just "kill" off a character to further the plot or attempt to defend the MC's actions. Lastly, even though the thoughts are sometimes unclear (elaborated below in style), each character has a defining personality so I could follow the dialogue/monologue.

Style: Originally I was going to mark this higher, but there are some inconsistencies between the transitions from first-person to third-person and vice-versa. Although your character is introverted and often speaks to himself, it can disrupt the flow of the story if the 'thought' is not always clear from his dialogue. Other than this slight nuance, for future reference, your style is one of the best. 

Story: I scour RRL for litRPG, but most stuff I find on RRL that are dungeon-themed or kingdom based is limited by the author’s desire to grow the MC into an unstoppable monster instead of exploring the world. However, even though I smell OP Mc, I see a lot of potential for the world-building, or universe-building. Just don't get too caught up in creating more "original" content. Recycling old concepts is perfectly fine if it's spun differently. 

Grammar: Not much to say in this area, I didn't catch that many errors besides some mis-spellings. 

Overall: I read techno cultivator as well (too much time on my hand), and it wasn't bad, but this novel is more to my taste. Characters are well defined, and there seems to be no limit in the world-building aspect. Keep up the great writing and updates.

Aselo
Overall

This novel is hilarious and has a dense mc that is always dense in any social interactions so it actually works unlike the fucking japanese mcs who are only dense regarding love. Also this novel needs a better synopis to showcase its awesomeness.

CynicJester
Overall

I hate incompetent and dense MCs

As a general rule, incompetent protagonists do nothing for me. Reading about someone consistently fucking up isn't something I'm into. If I want to experience that, I'll turn on the news or go out drinking. Same with dense protagonists. So you'd think this story would give me hives and lead to a postal story on the news. And you'd be sort of right and sort of wrong.

My big issue with dense characters is the fact that they are only dense in certain situations, for no reason beyond the author thinking it funny that the character can't relate to members of the opposite sex in any belivable fashion. This story has some of that, but the main character is completely incompetent at basically all human interaction, which is a far more believable scenario than the typical JP dense protag garbage that gets shoveled around here. 

That all the other characters are also broken in their own little(or not so little) ways is stretching plausibility a bit(The most stable and "normal" character we've come across so far is a demon....), but whatever. As satire it works. And that's what saves this story for me. It is pretty clearly poking fun at what is one of my most hated aspects of JP stories and for that, I'll gladly read about a character that I would normally dislikel

 

IcyResistance
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Curse the title character limit

<<MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS>> **READ AT OWN RISK**

It has happened! That which we have been waiting for all this time has happened! Murphy has been kissed! And now he can talk but its apparently cuz hes awoken or something.

This story will drive you nuts if you like romance because the main character and the heroine are separated by a big block of dense 30 meter graphene (1 atom thick graphene is stronger than steel I think) but in the recent chapter (Chapter 12) the main character is kissed by the heroine and its absolutely relieving that I became extremely excited (Some of that was from Murphy's Law, in which he first sneezed and then a bunch of knights attacked them second right before the kiss happened) and wanted to dance.

A bit of critique (As no novel is perfect):

Style - Everyone's style is unique so I have no idea how to rate this is 5/5

Grammar - Even with all of the exciting action and drama, there's a bit of grammar mistakes in the story, not enough to take away from the story but enough that you may notice one or two mistakes each or every other chapter.

Story - I'm not sure what to put here but I will put world building. The world building isn't as fleshed out currently due to the main characters not exploring much of their sector or just not talking about it and same with the colonies. (But there is some foreshadowing about the colonies coming into future play so it's not that bad)

Character - The characters are quite great but I knocked off a star because I think there may be a small thing wrong with them but it hasn't clicked for me yet. (Those memory implants are something that I want implanted into me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )

Overall - READ IT!!! DO IT BEFORE MURPHY TOUCHES YOU AND YOUR LUCK GOES SO DOWN YOU MIGHT BEHEAD YOURSELF WITH EVERY ACTION teehee~ :P

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

royaldarknes
Overall

the Techno Cultivator is very good and I hope this one will be,too

right now there are not much chapter so I will edit later 

Bandicoot
Overall

Overall great.  Neat power set, the power sets dont get in the way of thr fkow, but contribute nicely to the flow.  If i had to complain, it is the transitions between first and third persons are sometimes awkward.

 

The headbutt right as Seelie was about to seal the deal was right in character and funny as heck.

WildB
Overall

enjoyable story. see review from kenboy as that holds all points.