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An ordinary Earthly man falls unconscious and encounters a God-like Entity. He learns the origins of his existence and inconceivable revelations, and was given a unique choice that he could not pass. He paid the ultimate price to ensure his destiny and chose to be Reborn as a Creature to evolve Spiritually in a World with Unique Magic System and Elemental Affinities where his modern knowledge would prove most useful. But unimaginable hardships and tribulations awaited in his new World and other Realities where he would be fated to meet other creatures.
Re-writing early Volumes as of Dec 2019.
Picture Credits: Nightshade by Ruth Thompson.
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This is a standard (with a twist) reincarnation into a dragon story without a "System" interface which was fine and there was no focus on skills/powers up to v2c8 anyway. The characters were bland up to that point but it was relatively early still, the main problem here is how long winded everyone is. A scene is never allowed to just play out in a natural fashion; everyone is constantly cramming lengthy analysis, facts, speculation and exposition into every errant thought and it becomes tiresome to the point of inducing paragraph skimming and skipping. Not everything is bad though, the world held promise and dragons have the potential to be fun but it was truly an uphill battle to read and care about anything.
Having read further it does not improve and any sense of urgency and danger is quickly forgotten as the protagonist easily acquires the support of humans that go along with whatever he wants mostly. That coupled with some convoluted time travel and multiple versions of the same MC meddling with things just reinforced my original assessment. My suggestion to the author would be to learn to show not tell and to cut out the time travel BS as what’s the point of reading about a character’s road to power if you confirm right away that everything works out just fine for him via his OP future self? Also when you have female characters reminisce nostalgically about “seminal fluids” running down their legs and other such things you come off as a creepy pervert. Mentions of sex should be humorous or sexy, not (unintentionally?) gross.
A decent read for me.
Just that the story moves like really slow, but that could also be a good part about this novel, with the huge amount of story potentional and time shenegians.
Althrough i like the sheer effort put in the universe-building(or is it multiverses?), also the massive amount of plot points. Its also good that the author does not hesitate to write weird and complex stuff.
On the other side, the story does get REALLY confusing at the start, it gets better but its still hard to follow.
Be warned, that the author has almost no limit for the weird kind of stuff he writes in the story, generally chapters where such content happens, are marked, but there are still expections, especially with the older chapters.
Not really much to say about the characters myself.
This story has a strong start in the first volume, but then becomes a slice of life in volume 2-4. In volume 5, things start to both heat up as an actual antagonist exists now.
The author did very well in the 'survival' aspect of a new dragon. This is probably one of the first few novels that I have read that has given a forced as a non-humanoid, instead of an MC that can hide near humans with a humanoid 'dragonkin' form and almost never transforms into the dragon form with most other stories.
The biggest downside of this story is that there are many sudden jumps in logic or 'missed cutscenes', which are especially jarring when he has an adverse reaction to it, suddenly becoming really smart and revealing new plot when the narrator has not described it, leaving many open plotholes. The author also gets sidetracked a few times, which slows down the plot.
The first few chapters are not really that relevant, as Universe Building before world building is quite a heavy taste.
Read up to v4c3 so far.
tldr: Good story with many flaws. Its a bit different from others like it. I find it fresh. If you're considering reading it, please get past the prologue at least.
Writing this review mostly for the author.
Enjoyable story that explores the life of a dude as a dragon in a satisfying way. Side characters are interesting. Those that matter have depth. Immersive in a sastisfying way via character interactions and the general struggles of the protagonist.
Good protagonist - perfect blend of dragon and human that gives justice to both. Not portrayed as some genius, but also not stupid... unless he's half starved. Interesting to follow.
Also, the author has clearly taken feedback and done major revisions of the story cleaning up a massive portion of the early part. From the comments I can deduce the effect that has had.
Then, the thing I like most about this story because its done so well and is oh so rare. The, lets just say, traumatic themes. They are not glossed over. They affect the characters in deep ways that heal slowly. Its not trite, and that gives it all substance.
Yet the MC doesn't have strong morals as a dragon so the exploration feels very different to every other novel I've read. Its weird when the MCs hunger almost usurps his curiosity... weird but good.
Its a weird combo that's one of the most refreshing stories I've read.
It suffers from major problems that won't be easy to fix. I often find myself skimming. Cheifly
- Explaining magic/etc is rushed. Often instead of watching someone learn about magic, you watch someone get a lecture about magic. Or internal thoughts to that effect. Please slow down and imply a good chunk of that information instead.
- Bad sense of timing. Most fights are interrupted for tangential internal thoughts. It'd be ok if it was a sentence or two between observations... but its paragraphs.
- The ratio of thoughts/speculations to observations is out of wack.
- Lack of planning into chapters. Some parts do seem well planned though. And the story as a whole seems well planned.
To sum up the problems in one sentence: author explains all his ideas about magic, physics, chemestry, meta-science, etc... but doesn't realise that his world and the characters within it are much more interesting than those other details could ever be.
Oh yeah, normally I'd rate something with flaws like this 2 or 2.5 stars. No, the extra star isn't pity. It counter balances. This could be really great... with a crap ton of work. But that's writing I guess.
Ok, that said, I'll go into more detail since this is such an oddly good and bad mix I feel compelled to.
It flows wrong because of the bad sense of timing and tendency to jump into exposition. Like stuffing too much between a question someone asked before the MC responds, or between actions in a fight. ie, 2-3 paragraphs are used when 3 sentences could have communicated most of what was important, immersively, without breaking flow. In some places I even forgot what the person had asked by the time the MC responds.
All of that can be implied or condensed so things flow.
Having said that, I do like the descriptions of environment. The observations. Some of the dialogue and some of the thoughts. Heck, the musings of the character are good too - they're just overwhelming in quantity.
Also the prologue is, frankly, much worse than the rest. Again, there are parts of it I really enjoyed... but in short: too much information with too many words before I cared about the MC enough to pay attention. I was looking forward to the fantasy but had to wade through meta-plot and multiple backstories (which are admittedly interesting, but again its too much before the story begins).
Having said that, the author really nails some things well. If you can get past the wordiness... most scenes are done well. Whether its pranks, the dragon trying not to starve or the little girl hanging from his snout... its satisfying.
Another thing the author does well is POVs. Its equally interesting no matter what the pov is. The switching complements the storytelling.
They're distinct. I guess 2D characters. The one area they could be improved is that they are defined firstly by magic affinities, secondly by occupation, third by the way their past effects them. That's decent, but noticably synthetic as its repeated. Add dispositions, habbits, or different reactions to the same kind of situations and these characters would quickly be, imo, 3D characters.
Dynamics between them is interesting too. And enough of them are likable. Rating characters 4/5 because I don't think they need much more to be great.
A complex and interesting setup. Yet I can't actually tell if there's anything more than an average story amidst all the details. I think there is, and am looking forward to seeing it, but not so far. I might edit this if it gets better.
Needs work, but I'd ignore it in favour of bigger issues. Problems are: missing words, run on sentences and paragraphs that are too long (or is that a style issue... whatever).
Lets see...that covers it. I get the impression the author drowns in his own ideas. But whenever that's not happening, its naturally good.
Anway. Hope you keep writing. I'd love to see these characters slowly explore the world you've made. You've given the term "soul mate" a whole new depth.
Edit: No longer following. My reasoning is mostly personal.
I'm not going to unfollow it without telling the author why. So here's why:
The last four chapters (v6 12.1 .. 14) are consecutively ero. That's not the problem. They (and the story) are clearly marked and the first two are side stories.
The problems are: Its too integrated in the plot to skip. Its excessive. Its disturbing. The sexual theme... tone of it... started mature-but-not-without-humour tone, then new characters flip the tone of the story into cheap-erotic.
Now, the MC's main girl is a little girl who's eons old. And she truely acts like it in a good way. Her great age and lack of it combine well. She's a great character. How she acts and feels towards sex is realistic, sad yet balanced, and made me further empathise with her.
You know, I'll go ahead and emphasise that more. To the point: I was molested as a child (not the same as Shallia though, at least, and I'm a dude). So I know Shallia is a real, respectful, depiction of how someone can be. The author has my respect for that regardless of if it was entirely intended.
She's still in a little girl's body, and that's deeply disturbing. But as it is a mature depiction I would have been OK with it.
But... the author injected waay too much of his own fantassies into it with two other woman to a degree that cheapens it. IMO It utterly ruined what you had going.
Again, credit where its due. These are not a shallow harem characters. At least mostly. There's one that's very anime-like but the author gave time to build her character.
Then there's the plot. Its heavily contrived to force repeated sex (not so much before these chapters). A literal harem. I have no doubt that will continue in future chapters.
Had the author kept it at about 2/3rds of a chapter and involved no more than two woman, the tone would not have suffered like that, and I'd read on.
I hope the author can get to grips with the fact that there are people that go through shit of a sexual nature at a young age. While fiction is fictional, to the extent that its relatable its kind of not. At least there's an element in which it isn't. As such, I hope the author (and anyone else that goes so far as to read this) gets why shifting sexual tone in this way is bad.
I will have to stop reading here and drop the story. V2C2
The main reason is because of how early and quick the interaction with a sentient race happened. From there on was the generic and cliche of monster = slave and from there his life is not his. I started to quickly skim through these chapters and its just regular interactions that I have seen in other stories.
You had something going with the Mc struggling through the forest and learning by himself like how a dragon or beast does. By experience. Now he is surrounded and influenced by humans and other sentient beings that there will be less of those beastly encounters and he will become more "domesticated." With how tough his life was in the beginning I was hoping he would encounter these things by himself. It was so entertaining seeing a human in a dragon form surviving but now he is with humans and there are so many stories that have a beast interacting with sentient beings that we can somewhat predict what is going to happen next. The story has lost its uniqueness or there is a lot less ways to make this story fresh and unique to keep the readers attention.
Now that he is surrounded by sentient beings he will learn at a way quicker rate which is more generic, boring, etc. The story will move forward quicker and the plot will progress more but at the cost of the Mc learning by mistake and error.
Be well aware that my opinion stemmed from the fact that I have read a lot of novels in RR, Fanfiction, Xianxia, etc. Newer readers have a higher chance of enjoying this.
I honestly just can't read this story. Theres far too many onomatapeias, or however you spell it, and each one in a seemimgly different color. It makes it incredibly distracting to read, especially to those with eye problems. Not only that, but the same noice could be repeates three times, and each time spelt slightly diiferently.
The MC himself... Well, let's just say I barely made it passed the prologue.
This star could be so much better, but it's held back by it trying to be a TV show, written in book format. Atleast there aren't any lines of lyrics between each paragraph as background music.
I tried to start this, and trawled my way through the prologues, but the story wandered here and there reading more like a random collection of story ideas and by the time I got to the numbered chapters it was still multiple characters without context. Maybe the novel sorts itself out later but I've not the patience to read another dozen chapters until it does
This story is such a hidden gem, i mean at last we have a non human protagonist without the human form (we get to see the true perspective of a dragon and not it trying to live as something he isn't). This is pretty hard to make since you have to get in the position of a new existance and you can't just leave him in a forest forever and you manage to work it out in a nice way to create more interest in the story.
The introduction to the world and its misteries its done at a good pace without unnecesary info dumps and the characters have pretty defined personalities and experiences. I dont now much about grammar but reading i didn't feel any jarring words or mistakes so i take that point its good.
I definetly recommend you to read this story.
i read this book back when it had about 20 chapters, but couldnt find it again. but i found it once again and its just as good as i remember it. and it is more than 1000 pages long!!! so ill be reading this for a while. hooray!!!!! good character development, awesome story plot, not many stories use ACTUAL MATH, and there's some nice erotica for those days your GF cant come over.
so many POV. its like telling the readers that the MC is not important. so many useless chapters. you need to highlight your story. the MC is smart. why did you make him a retard all of the sudden? he easily got captured while peeking on a wagon? really? retardation at its best. you could have made the MC live in the forest while making him stronger. the MC is a fucking dragon ..