Life of the dark god

Life of the dark god

by Wokcommander

This is the story about the young god Hikaru. He was born in an old world and had to fight through a lot of hardships since birth. His strong character got formed by all the things which happened to him during his fights. Follow the dark god through his trials and adventures to become a higher beeing.

 

(hopefully it will be the first of 3 seasons) 

 

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Wokcommander

Wokcommander

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue: Birth of the devil ago
Chapter 1 Circumstances (1) ago
Chapter 2 Circumstances (2) ago
Chapter 3 Magic studies (1) ago
Chapter 4 Magic studies (2) ago
Chapter 5 New discoveries (1) ago
Chapter 6 New discoveries (2) ago
Chapter 7 Horror gets born ago
Chapter 8 Planning for the future ago
Chapter 9 Preparations and farewell ago
Epilogue (of Arc 1) the Sea ago
Prologue (Arc 2) First contact ago
Chapter 1 Betrayal ago
Chapter 2 To the rescue ago
Chapter 3 Darkness ago
Chapter 4 Agreement ago
Chapter 5 Start of the Journey ago
Chapter 6 Town ago
Chapter 7 Guild ago
Chapter 8 Problems ago
Chapter 9 Personal request ago
Chapter 10 First successful Quest ago
Chapter 11 Secret training ago
Chapter 12 Touring the beast continent ago
Chapter 13 Dungeon exploring ago
Chapter 14 Boss fight ago
Chapter 15 A Rank ago
Chapter 16 Capital ago
Chapter 17 Royalty ago
Chapter 18 Shocking News ago
Chapter 19 New Land ago
Chapter 20 Base ago
Chapter 21 Discovery ago
Chapter 22 Distraction ago
Chapter 23 Legendary sword? ago
Chapter 24 Surprise ago
Chapter 25 Between life and death ago
Chapter 26 Madness ago
Chapter 27 Destruction ago
Chapter 28 Territory ago
Chapter 29 Kylie’s farewellnote ago
Epilogue (of Arc 2) Legend ago
Arc 3 Prologue Living on my own land ago
Chapter 1 My people? ago
Chapter 2 the 3rd year ago
Chapter 3 the 3rd year (2) ago
Chapter 4 Arriving at Sonya academy ago
Chapter 5 Test ago
Chapter 6 An awkward start ago
Chapter 7 First day of school ago
Chapter 8 Let’s play a little mind game ago
Chapter 9 Exchange through the night ago
Chapter 10 first magic lesson ago
Chapter 11 first magic lesson (2) ago
Chapter 12 Checking up on the kids ago
Chapter 13 A plan for creating a new force ago
Chapter 14 Explaining the plan ago
Chapter 15 rune class (1) ago
Chapter 16 rune class (2) ago
Chapter 17 Strange news (1) ago
Chapter 18 Strange news (2) ago
Chapter 19 Using learned things ago
Chapter 20 A tough lesson ago
Chapter 21 The human continent hosts a tournament? ago
Chapter 22 Going out to visit the city ago
Chapter 23 To the rescue, again? ago
Chapter 24 Spirit ago
Chapter 25 Important announcement ago
Chapter 26 Open world ago
Chapter 27 Leaving school for a while ago
Chapter 28 starting the search ago
Chapter 29 Roles reversed ago
Chapter 30 The hunter meets its prey ago
Chapter 31 The 3rd ago
Chapter 32 Friction in town ago
Chapter 33 Last request ago
Chapter 34 Messing with the wrong opponent ago
Chapter 35 Forming my first contract ago
Chapter 36 Hybrid ago
Chapter 37 Back to Sonya city ago
Chapter 38 Preparing a festival for the king ago
Chapter 39 The day before the festival ago
Chapter 40 The 4th court magician (1) ago
Chapter 41 The 4th Court magician (2) ago
Chapter 42 The 4th Court magician (3) ago
Chapter 43 The 4th court magician (4) ago
Chapter 44 The 4th court magician (5) ago
Chapter 45 Short reunion ago
Author note ago
Chapter 46 Returning one last time ago
Arc 3 Epilogue Last days of peace ago
Arc 4 Prologue The beginning of the end ago
Chapter 1 A friendly welcome? (1) ago
Chapter 2 A friendly welcome? (2) ago
Chapter 3 Opening ceremony ago
Chapter 4 Pressuring ago
Chapter 5 Coming back from a mission ago
Chapter 6 Start of the tournament ago
Chapter 7 Participating ago
Chapter 8 Start of the second round ago
Chapter 9 Sandra’s fight (1) ago
Chapter 10 Sandra’s fight (2) ago
Chapter 11 One-sided battle ago
Chapter 12 Are all gods crazy? ago
Chapter 13 Deal ago
Chapter 14 Under Attack? ago
Chapter 15 End of the regular tournament ago
Chapter 16 Clash of two Gods ago
Chapter 17 Uniting ago
Chapter 18 Midnight meeting ago
Chapter 19 Mission Spirit start ago
Chapter 20 Why me? ago
Chapter 21 Unique Island ago
Chapter 22 Invader ago
Chapter 23 Against the rules ago
Chapter 24 No surprises anymore? ago
Chapter 25 The past ago
Chapter 26 Substitute ago
Chapter 27 My days in prison ago
Chapter 28 The first contact after years ago
Chapter 29 My release ago
Chapter 30 Prepare yourself ago
Chapter 31 The world is starting to crumble ago
Chapter 32 The last boss appears ago
Chapter 33 You and which army? ago
Chapter 34 Against the world ago
Chapter 35 One vs one ago
Chapter 36 The hidden weapon ago
Chapter 37 The battle goes on ago
Chapter 38 Death ago
Epilogue Life of the dark god ago
Author note/ second season ago

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KurtMKing
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It gets way better later on

I'm not sure why I haven't reviewed this yet. Probably because reviews aren't really something I do, and then I noticed that he has a really bad review from someone who only read the prologue, and not even the full thing, by their own admission.

There are a number of issues with this story, but 90% of them stem from grammar. The way dialogue is done is a bit annoying, and the wrong word is often used. Grammar gets much better in the later chapters.

If you're looking for professional-quality, look elsewhere. This is written by someone who doesn't pay for an editor, and probably doesn't care enough to edit. He seems to enjoy writing the story more than he does people's opinions about it, the few of them that I've seen pop up (and I've been reading since the start).

Past the grammar, there are very few plot holes, and despite the number of chapters, they're relatively short, but not too short, and he stays consistent with what's going on throughout the story, and things you've probably forgotten about get mentioned every now and then, such as why Hikaru doesn't do this or that, or that this is what he's doing.

Don't be fooled by the synopsis - it doesn't do the story justice. At all.

The story is about Hikaru, the new Demon God when his parents die, and his journeys through friendships, betrayal, loss, challenges, trials, and more as he seeks out the other four new gods of the world to *NOT SHARING THE SPOILER*.

The only reason Character Score is a 4.5 and not a 5 is because of one simple fact: currently, Hikaru is a wuss. He lets other people walk all over him at times, and it isn't keeping with the rest of his established personality. The author's told me that that's going to change shortly, so if it does, I'll fix the score to a 5. Hikaru, apart from when dealing with the people supposed to be helping him, is kind, but also no-nonsense. He punishes fairly to those that matter to him, and harshly to those who wrong him. He doesn't stand for anyone hurting - or even threatening - those he cares about. Something people probably find as a flaw in his personality is the fact that he will do things just for fun that most would consider morally wrong.

He's a demon. D-E-M-O-N. It's part of their nature. Plus, it makes him more enjoyable, even if he antagonizes his "friends" and "allies". They do far worse to him, and he usually has a solid backing for why he did it, while they're just jerks.

Overall, I give it a 4.5/5, and if the grammar/spelling was better, I would've given it a 5/5 overall. An enjoyable story that reads far better as you get through the early crap.

I would like to add on that you can skip the first arc of the story, and go straight to the Prologue of Arc 2. Arc 1 is really just a prologue, and it seems to drag on as you read it because not a lot's happening. Only the end of it really matters at all, as of where the story is currently.

Super-Sonic
Overall

Some parts at the beggining I didn't enjoy at all but in all fairness it getts better and is ok in most aspects later on in the story.

AntnyTP
Overall

I've had a few problems.

The synopsis reads like a wuxia/xianxia novel, and I really don't like it. I always hated how they have to summarize a novel with them bragging about themselves, rather than talking about the main plot. It serves its purpose as an attention grabber, but at the same time, this turned me way off. The plot should be what hooks me in. The characters should be what makes the journey very enjoyable.

I didn't read much; only finished about a bit of the prologue.

I did have problems with grammar and it made it a chore to continue reading. The way you denote a person speaking is personally off-puting for me. This read more like a play for a theatrical piece, rather than a novel.

I also did have problems with some dialogue, which could possibly be fixed by contents from future chapters that I haven't read.

For example:

“Yeah, yea you are right. So, what will his name be? If you want my opinion it should be something like first. I mean we hopefully will get another one and we could name it second so there will be no problems with naming.”(Stupid Father)

That was taken from the prologue. The grammar issue aside, I had a hard time understanding what the third sentence is trying to say. Is the father suggesting that the name be First? Or are you saying the name should be synonymous with the word "first"? This is where grammar would make it less ambiguous.

Also I don't know if it's anyone else, but the father sounded rather submissive. I don't have any trouble with the father being submissive, but I just want to point it out to make sure you know about it.

In a decently healthy relationship, there wouldn't be a need to say "If you want my opinion." Communication would flow naturally, in this context. Saying "if you want my opinion," makes me think that this isn't a normal relationship. The father felt the need to preface his statement with "if you want my opinion," because there's been some sort of past events that probably scarred him, and now makes him coat his sentence with "if you want my opinion."

Another example I would like to point out is redudancy:

"I finally knew both of my parents’ names. My mother thought for a moment. While she was thinking, she massaged her forehead. Suddenly she pointed her finger at him and said."

In this context, you don't need to say "I finally knew both of my parents' names." That was already a given when they've the readers what their name was.

"My mother thought for a moment. While she was thinking, she massaged her forehead." This sentence can be completely merged into one sentence. There's no point in adding extra padding when a reader doesn't have all the time in the world to be reading fluff words.

Edit: Author, you have your pm inbox disabled, so I'll just post it here.

Like I said, the synopsis was more of a personal issue, rather than objective.
A good summary should do two things: 1) grab the reader's attention 2) give the reader an idea of what they're about to get into. I personally hate wuxia/xianxia synopsis because it does nothing to inform the reader, other than to stroke the MC's ego.
 
You'll have to know what you want to write about, then the summary should reflect that. Since you're already 21 chapters in, you should have a good understanding of where the story is heading, and you could edit your summary to fit that.
 
What really makes me not want to read more is the grammar. I really recommend to either get someone to fix that for you, or learn grammar properly. Because right now it's stopping me from reading more. You don't have to take classes for this. Just read popular published novels, see what they do, and understand why their grammar works.
 
I understand that you don't have much time, but I judge this as if it was being sold. If you read your novel, and compare it to a professional novel, like Harry Potter, which one would you buy? I might sound harsh, which I apologize for, but the best way to see whether or not your novel will prosper is to compare it to other novels.
 
You have an interesting concept, but its ultimately up to you whether or not you can present your ideas while keeping the reader interested.