The Journey of a Scarecrow

The Journey of a Scarecrow

by Klatue

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore

This is a journey of a Scarecrow.... welp what did you think it would be about.......

 

Don't like my synopsis get over it.

 

 

 

 

Doing this just for the pure giggles help is apreciated also there will be polls to find out where the hell im going with this book. there will be profanity may some sexual contient and if you don't like my synopsis tell me and i may or may not listen. hope you enjoy the story.

p.s can some one tell me how to work tables Cause this is my first story. kinda

 I do not own this cover art it is by Tommy Castillo, and if asked i will take it down. :D

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Klatue

Klatue

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drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
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Exterminatus
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Promising premise, disappointing delivery

Picking a scarecrow as your main character was an interesting start, but starts going downhill rather fast. I will now list off the reasons that I personally found to be so annoying, that I couldn't read past chapter 7, and some suggestions to keep in mind. I'll be drawing paralels to my own story, so what I'm about to say is a bit biased.

1. You need to slow the #&@% down. Everything is happening way too fast, and I have no idea what the #$!% is going on. There's no world building, no character development, the story is incoherent and makes me feel like I'm missing things.

2. Having your MC die and be reborn into a LitRPG world is just an excuse to give him power he didn't earn. Being 'born' in 19th century USA also seems irrelevant. How the hell did he even learn to speak? Because 'reasons?' What about the fact it knew about things such as blood and slavery, but not cities? And how come he knows how to make fire and isn't traumatized by it? Seems odd considering he literally burned to death. Oh, right, 'reasons.'

What I'm saying is this would be far more interesting if your MC was born within the fantasy world.

3. The plot armor is too thick. He meets a fairy princess who talks to the weird creature instead of killing it on sight. And then she takes him home to present to the queen, who turns on her immediately and imprisons them both because 'reasons.' And then the scarecrow saves them both because Death himself took interest in it, again because 'reasons.' 

This whole sequence is a missed opportunity for a lot of character development. Have the scarecrow and princess live together for a while, share some peaceful moments with them. Your MC could even come to see her as a mentor or parent figure, which would give him actual motivation to save her later on. Then you start showing the queen's gradual descent into madness/corruption/whatever-the-hell-is-going-on. Instead she just goes from 0 to Hitler in literally a day, rom what I gather.

4. Descriptions are practically non-existant. I have almost no idea what any of the characters look like, what their clothes are like or how large any of their chests are. The locations are also extremely vague. While letting your readers fill in the blanks by themselves is not a bad approach, you leave so much out that the characters themselves are completely blank. I also have a gripe at how you treat the 'small' fairies as if they're human-sized, but I'll just leave that out for now.

5. The MC has harem powers. A fairy is blushing at him for no good reason, despite them spending next to 0 time together. Sure he saved her, but that does not automatically mean she wants to bump uglies with him. Also, random joke marriage proposal is completely forced and random. Also, a scarecrow is apparently aware of the concept of marriage.

6. The humor I actually enjoyed. Having the system poke fun at the scarecrow is great, and that 'torture' scene was pure gold. It makes me a bid sad you wrapped it up so quickly, as it could have served as excellent character development for both the MC and one of the villains.

emberwing
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unique-ish character..and that's about it.

the character is unique-ish, after all a dumb scarecrow without a brain is a nice concept.

only the rest of the story is terrible, there isn't any real story development as it just jumps from one end to the next, the characters are boring, flat and lifeless hell the only character that is interesting is the scarecrow in the beginning as it is such an idiot it is amusing. the grammar is bad but not atrocious and the spelling is bad.

i won't deduct points for using a scythe (which the author spelt as scyth so maybe it's some fantasy weapon he created) as a weapon as the idea is cool and there have been battle scythes used in war, what should be noted however is that the battle scythes are actually just polearms that have been named such as they resemble the harvesting tool (which is completly unusable in combat)

Mr. Bubbles
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I'm writing this after finishing chapter 3.

I like where your trying to go with this, but its too random for me.

Also you keep writing oh as ow. So to put it in context for you ow would be something like: Ow! That hurt! And oh would be like: Oh, so thats how that works.

Anyway some small problems....WHAT THE FUNKY FRESHNESS IS UP WITH THE QUEEN!? What? Did she just decide to throw her daughter into a dungeon to be totured on a whim? Or was she being controlled by that wierd darkness guy? Oh! And also, whats with the scarecrows reactions to things? Like, one second he is desensitized to everything because he's a scarecrow, but the next he's breaking stuff to save the fairy girl because reasons (or maby just because plot) and calls the kingdom wretched because emotions I guess. I mean, shouldn't he not know whats going on?

Anyway, plot and stuff so it gets a 9 out of 10....nevermind 8 out of 10 because he pulled a flint and steel out of a fairies butt. (I'm going to assume thats where it was because if she was being tortured they would have taken her stuff)

Well...this story is making me more angry than it should. I mean, its a good idea and I get what your going for. but you should slow it down, yanno?

-The author decided to redo the story so my review probably holds no real value anymore. Hopefully the story will be better and wont be rushed this time,

Bubbly boi out.

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Great Start, Keep going!

 Hi Klatue,

 I have a few comments

 

 Regarding your story:

 Great start, you have my interest.

 Also, interesting MC choice, an animated scarecrow with ties to Cthulhu...

 

 Areas needing improvement / review:

The story needs more character description, or description in general, to make the story more vivid and to guide the reader. For instance, you say that the scarcrow is running through the forest, but is the scarecrow hopping around on its post like Turnip-Head? does it have legs like the one in Oz? We readers don't know unless you tell us!

 The motives of the Queen are unclear and illogical to the point that she appears to be "Bat Sh*t Crazy". Who would do that to their daughter because of a disagreement about a stranger? -edit: cleared up some in chapter 4.

 Other than that, you have quite a few spelling and grammatical errors. -edit: karlthefirst and I have been proofing the older chapters, and Klatue has shown signs of great improvement in his newest chapters.

I would give you a 4 out of 5, but I am giving you a 5, to help counter the idiots who underrated you. 

Hope to read more,

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