The Bound Dungeon

by wires12

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

Pan was an ordinary boy, practicing to become a mage's apprentice. He lived at home, and worked for his parents. Until the day his family is attacked by a rogue necromancer and killed. Pan is kidnapped by the mage for his affinity for magic, and in a bizarre ritual, Pan's consciousness is transferred into a dungeon stone and bound by the necromancer to serve him and create an army of skeletons.


Now Pan has to find a way to escape the magical clutches of the rogue mage, and if he can accomplish that, survive.

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wires12

wires12

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Impaler
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Its one of the better dungeon stories on RRL.

This is literally the second best dungeon story I've ever read. It has a logical and understandable rate of improvement and none of the annoying pixies or gods to muck up the character's point of view. The character is focused and interesting making you side with him before you fully understand your own reasons.

mrttao
Overall

This is absolutely wonderful. The prologue is well paced where usually in such stories it is a horrible boring slog you need to get through to get to the decent parts.

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

 

theoglazer
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Not just another dungeon story.

This story has got to be one of my favourite on royalroadl. It's well written and exciting to read.

The main character is both enjoyable and interesting to watch. We get to see him deal with the hardships involved with the management of a dungeon and the new life he must live. However I hope that as the story progresses we will see a greater development in his emotions, such as an acknowledgment towards the absence of others he can trust as well as a greater understanding of his previous life and how that may effect him.

 

grammar wise I see no problems, however I am not one to judge in that prospect. All I can say is that the story is easy to understand, legible and has no obvious grammatical errors.

 

while dungeon stories are not new and this one does use many similar concepts as others it feels in no way similar, with the use of new ideas that make the story exciting and somehow seem to grab your attention in every single chapter. Three parts of this story interest me. Firstly his unique qualities that separate him from a normal dungeon,which I  hope will be embellished on as the story goes on, secondly the use of a dungeon store, which I believe that if used correctly could help influence the story greatly, so far the lack of abuse towards the store is somewhat refreshing and something I hope stays constant throughout the story as it's use could become similar to a crutch for the mc. Lastly the development of the world is something that is vastly important to a story's quality and while slow so far we can see that a picture of the worlds society and ideals is forming as more and more chapters are made, I believe that the author has so far succeeded in creating an interesting backstory and can't wait to see what happens next.

I am excited for the release of new chapters and believe that this story could become one of the top on royalroadl.com.

However I hope that the author does not fall into the same problem that plagues many writers on royalroadl.com, a decrease in the quality of the story as time goes on. I am adamant that this story is one you should read and i am excited for what we will see in the future.

p.s well done wires12 your story is amaaaaaazing:) and keep up the good work. The funny thing is I was going to do a small review😂.

mrtats
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Bound Dungeon is one of the best dungeon stories out there. In the world of Bound Dungeon our main character (Dungeon) Pan is not an ordinary dungeon he is an intelligent dungeon and it does not stop there, he is a big fan of modifying his monsters (creatures? minions? canon-fodder?) you see other dungeons like the strategy of summoning monsters enlarge making it cheaper to summon them and side characters (POV's of duke and some adventurers) are also great giving them some fleshed out character but there is next to nothing dialogue in the story.

This shouldn't discourge you if you like settlement development types of stories because you will have pages of descriptions that describes how Pan improves his monsters and dungeon. 

Story has above average grammar. (Some mistakes here and there.) 

My overall score for Bound Dungeon : 3.75 rounded to 4

PettyOfficer
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Focused, Funny, and Fair Fantasy

TLDR; It's like a good storytime tale before bedtime. A bit lengthy and graphic for kids, but it makes that up with its quality and realism. People need more of this in their lives, rather than the gorefests, sugar-coated tales, orgies, or pity-parties other people promote. Mindful instead of mindless.

 

It's clean, straight-up fantasy about a Dungeon. There's no guff about worldbuilding or nonsense in unrealistic and/or mushy relationships. Necessary details are not omitted and the reader can really relate to the complete story they are being told. Characters are more rounded and full than the plain stock or flat characters other authors use, i.e. they are more logical and cunning. No winded rant about morality. No random Over Powered characters roaming about nor plot holes I can find. No pervy moments, rape-fests, nor circumstantial harem candidates. The author listens to feedback. All-in-all, a polished fiction awaiting perfection.

DarkD
Overall

Great Start, but Loses Track of Itself as it Goes

As you'd expect from something called The Bound Dungeon, it starts off showing a necromancer enslaving a dungeon for his own ends.  Dungeon's don't like the idea of remaining obedient, so behind the scenes he starts planning how to free himself.  

The premise is great and the execution is quick and not the most thought out piece of writing I've ever scene. 

[spoiler]The biggest flaw is the fact that the dungeon does eventually free itself.  And rather quickly too.  This kinda defeats the entire purpose of calling the story "The Bound Dungeon".  A name like that implies that it's a recurring theme in the story, but the concept is sloughed off almost as soon as the story gets going.  [/spoiler]

This leads to the second part of the story, the one all of you dungeon fic readers are all to familiar with.  Someone reports the dungeon and a dungeon town props up.  The dungeon begins developing.  I'd say the style is closest to "The Cultivating Dungeon" (TCD). 

Comparing the two, I'd say TCD does a better job making the items interesting.  TBD (The Bound Dungeon) does a better job making the environments interesting.  They're both fairly good about creatures, but TBD limits itself to evolving creatures while TCD adds enchantments and potion usage to its creatures.  I'm still waiting for TBD to let it's monsters use potions.  

I also like how TBD doesn't seem to limit itself by hiding the fact that it's sentient.  Or at least, I'm not sure that it has.  

A major problem in recent chapters is the lack of a side character to interact with the dungeon.  The dungeon becomes a bit plainer without that presence.  I admit that the Slime Dungeon tried and failed with a lot of it's side characters, but the presence is absolutely necessary.  Especially contrasting personalities that compliment one another would be appreciated.  

The kingdom POVs tend to come up very flat.  I don't really feel like they're revealing anything that I care about.  Sure that guy owns the land, but then what?  I care about the dungeon and those things related to it.  I feel that character needs a stronger relationship with the dungeon to justify his having a separate POV.  It feels like you are trying to write two separate stories and trying to force them together.  Forcing us to read the boring one to get to the interesting one.  

The writing style is pretty good.  I would comment that you need to break up the paragraphs a little more.  Having short paragraphs in a novel is a good thing.  It makes the reading feel easier.  Even if the paragraph ends up being one sentence.  The point is to make shorter, but focused paragraphs that stick to one topic.

Zyront
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

ORIGINAL DUNGEON APPROACH

It's a very promising and good novel, good and simple prologue followed by a innovative dungeon history mixing the good about Dungeon building and second life genre, I'm moved about the unique way of development it shows from basically nothing to a great history and good eloquence and personality

Hazenrage
Overall

Impressive story, very good. However the update rate is horrendous.. :/

RagingHipster
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Grammar is on point, characters actually have personalties, and there is very clear and directed development. The main issue I had with the story was actually that the "bound" dungeon was unbound so quickly. After the brief tense period where the dungeon is being extremely clever, careful, and creative to advance, trick and free its self from the evil necromancer everything changed. The dungeon is now just slowly expanding, a guild is building a city on it.

The story started to follow some of the standard tropes and I was really hoping that it would find more ways to differentiate its self than just the few intelligent monsters and recurring adventuring parties. A greater threat that just hasn't existed except for one instance where some bad guys were going to steal the core. A plot has since started to mayhaps bound the dungeon again.

Will this poor dungeon face enslavement again? Will it assist the guild in defending thier symbiotic relationship? Will the greater politicts of the kingdom help or harm our dungeon? These are all questions that this story brings foward. Questions that make this story worth the read.

jlkc
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Best dungeon story.

Best dungeon story there is currently, on rrl and nu.

Creative MC that is currently a bit flat because he had no one to talk to. The author recently added two "companions" that are capable of conversation so that should change.

Well written with few mistakes and a world that makes logical sense. By that I mean characters acting according to their personality instead of forced plot decisions.

Read up to chapter 10 ish before you judge.