The Bound Dungeon

by wires12

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead Non-Human lead Strategy Supernatural
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

Pan was an ordinary boy, practicing to become a mage's apprentice. He lived at home, and worked for his parents. Until the day his family is attacked by a rogue necromancer and killed. Pan is kidnapped by the mage for his affinity for magic, and in a bizarre ritual, Pan's consciousness is transferred into a dungeon stone and bound by the necromancer to serve him and create an army of skeletons.


Now Pan has to find a way to escape the magical clutches of the rogue mage, and if he can accomplish that, survive.

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wires12

wires12

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Impaler
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Its one of the better dungeon stories on RRL.

This is literally the second best dungeon story I've ever read. It has a logical and understandable rate of improvement and none of the annoying pixies or gods to muck up the character's point of view. The character is focused and interesting making you side with him before you fully understand your own reasons.

mrttao
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This is absolutely wonderful. The prologue is well paced where usually in such stories it is a horrible boring slog you need to get through to get to the decent parts.

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

 

theoglazer
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Not just another dungeon story.

This story has got to be one of my favourite on royalroadl. It's well written and exciting to read.

The main character is both enjoyable and interesting to watch. We get to see him deal with the hardships involved with the management of a dungeon and the new life he must live. However I hope that as the story progresses we will see a greater development in his emotions, such as an acknowledgment towards the absence of others he can trust as well as a greater understanding of his previous life and how that may effect him.

 

grammar wise I see no problems, however I am not one to judge in that prospect. All I can say is that the story is easy to understand, legible and has no obvious grammatical errors.

 

while dungeon stories are not new and this one does use many similar concepts as others it feels in no way similar, with the use of new ideas that make the story exciting and somehow seem to grab your attention in every single chapter. Three parts of this story interest me. Firstly his unique qualities that separate him from a normal dungeon,which I  hope will be embellished on as the story goes on, secondly the use of a dungeon store, which I believe that if used correctly could help influence the story greatly, so far the lack of abuse towards the store is somewhat refreshing and something I hope stays constant throughout the story as it's use could become similar to a crutch for the mc. Lastly the development of the world is something that is vastly important to a story's quality and while slow so far we can see that a picture of the worlds society and ideals is forming as more and more chapters are made, I believe that the author has so far succeeded in creating an interesting backstory and can't wait to see what happens next.

I am excited for the release of new chapters and believe that this story could become one of the top on royalroadl.com.

However I hope that the author does not fall into the same problem that plagues many writers on royalroadl.com, a decrease in the quality of the story as time goes on. I am adamant that this story is one you should read and i am excited for what we will see in the future.

p.s well done wires12 your story is amaaaaaazing:) and keep up the good work. The funny thing is I was going to do a small review😂.

PettyOfficer
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Focused, Funny, and Fair Fantasy

TLDR; It's like a good storytime tale before bedtime. A bit lengthy and graphic for kids, but it makes that up with its quality and realism. People need more of this in their lives, rather than the gorefests, sugar-coated tales, orgies, or pity-parties other people promote. Mindful instead of mindless.

 

It's clean, straight-up fantasy about a Dungeon. There's no guff about worldbuilding or nonsense in unrealistic and/or mushy relationships. Necessary details are not omitted and the reader can really relate to the complete story they are being told. Characters are more rounded and full than the plain stock or flat characters other authors use, i.e. they are more logical and cunning. No winded rant about morality. No random Over Powered characters roaming about nor plot holes I can find. No pervy moments, rape-fests, nor circumstantial harem candidates. The author listens to feedback. All-in-all, a polished fiction awaiting perfection.

Zarinthel
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My Favorite Dungeon Story

I like the way you put a lot of focus on how Pan acts as a dungeon and less on munchkining the system. Your imagery is vivid and really makes the story great. 

VeryLameWebNovel
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This novel is good. Well paced, interesting, well written. The setting, although nothing incredibly original (it's a Dungeon story after all) is made really well. It has logic, is paced correctly and shaped without devolving into a mess of jambled ideas. I especially liked the side-characters, even more than the protagonist. The use of different POV during some chapters really adds to the story.The only flaw I found is the lack of chapters. I have read all twenty published here on Royal road, and...I...need...more XD

Five stars in all categories, each of them well earned. Keep up the good work!

Nimasaur
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One of the better dungeon stories

The story has a good pacing, it doesn't feel rushed like many dungeon stories, the mc isn't an idiotic perverted dungeon core, no fairy/companion bullshit from the getgo. It is more creative than most dungeon stories but not that much more, it does freshen up the concept a little at very least without going over the top.

The writing is also very good as well as the style. Where this fiction suffers is in it's story and character department. However, the story is currently introducing more characters and developing them. Before it was basically MC does work stuff except for dealing with the necromancer, no interaction or barely any development(unless you count embracing more of his dungeon side).

The major gripe is with the story however, it's getting repetitive and unimaginative. The intro was decent, the developing city is a bit common in dungeon stories and could be built more upon, we also have John and his group.

However, what we've had other than that so far is(spoiler) first some adventures trying to steal the core, then some mages later on instead trying to destroy the core, and now it will be a full on invasion by mages trying to destroy the core & city. The whole subvert/control/destroy the core storylines are okay & realistic from the story perspective, but it's slightly dull and repetitive.

Still this is clearly above the average of a dungeon story and I'm enjoying very much so far, hopefully with introducing new characters and after the new try of destroy the dungeon the story will move on to better things.

lightningwarrior21
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I loved reading this my favorite bit is that there's a high chance that Pan will now have a *spoiler* dungeon city *spoiler* which is something I've always wanted from a dungeon story. Like seriously, thank you. 

Your world-building is excellent, everything from magic down to alchemy and enchanting is very well thought-out in the standard vein of a fantasy world...and your take on how Pan became a dungeon is unique, which is greaty appreciated. It's not even technically a reincarnation thing. Now, it's still a dungeon story, so there are very typical elements to be seen here, but those just help to push the story along. 

Now as for critiques...you appear to lose track of some of your characters. They just kind of...vanish. Like, for one, what is Drake doing? (I am only at chapter 33 when writing this, for future refrence.) He dissappeared off the face of the earth during the current arc, for the moment, and I would like to know what he is doing. Even just hinting at what he's doing, like saying Pan sent him off on a special mission, would be better than just allowing them to disappear. This is also something that happened with the Queen Ant, but it's not quite as bad there. 

As for suggestions on future arcs...well, I would like to see Pan get a companion from outside the dungeon. Like a human or demi-human or elf or something. It's a common theme in other stories, and while I'm not saying it's one hundred percent necessary or that you have to follow what the others did, I would like to see it. Namely because having a representative of equal intelligence to Pan would be useful in the inevitability that his intelligence is discovered, without him having to risk his alternate body when he gets one. 

I'd also like to see Pan bringing down the "wrath of the Heavens" by summoning a lightning storm in his dungeon and raining it down on some people. Just saying. It'd be Fuckin' SICK. Maybe that could be floor six, just one big lightning storm that rains bolts of lightning down on people while thunderbeasts run about, zapping the adventurers or unsuspecting fools.

Anyways, just saying excellent work. I look forward to more. 

kitsune118
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where are you, this story needs to continue i need to know what happens next

Kirlic
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Keep on doing this!

I have a hard time finding awesome dungeon stories like this please continue If there was any grammar mistakes i didnt notice them. But the sotry is really good and i like how Pan acually acts like how i think a dungeon would, hating any being that dares com into thier domain.