Arnar the Dungeon

Arnar the Dungeon

by Wredniak

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

Arnar is a dungeon core. Everybody knows dungeons are evil, man-eating entities hell-bent on killing and absorbing whatever wanders inside their depths. The problem is no one ever told him that. Well, the truth is no one ever told him anything and he refused powers-that-be when they tried to make him into the proper dungeon. That should teach them not resurrect people into dungeon cores.

Now it is too late. He has a perfect plan to become the best dungeon on the continent and nothing will stand in his way. Especially something called common sense. 


Disclaimer of sorts:

I am non-native English writer that used to write mostly for himself. After my last computer decided to die on me taking all my works with it I lost the desire to write for quite a long time. This is my attempt to go find motivation to write again as this was my favourite hobby. The idea is to be held accountable. 

As for being non-native, I don't believe that should be a major issue as I feel my proficiency in English to be sufficient enough to not be too much of the distraction. That said, be forewarned that the rules governing punctuation are beyond my grasp. All I can do is try not to completely suck at that.

As mentioned this is an attempt to motivate me to write again so any message, encouragement or constructive criticism will go long way.

The cover was created with the help of http://fantasynamegenerators.com/emblem-creator.php

I hope you will enjoy my story. 

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Wredniak

Wredniak

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LordRot
Overall
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Story
Grammar
Character

I love how the story is starting to be set up. also, I like how he is an OP dungeon he's not to OP where we can destroy a content without a thought. however, i wish there were more chapters out. however, that's my only complaint about it as i like the rest of it.

Artmiser
Overall

Happy there is now another good dungeon story to read and follow.  Thanks for the chapters.

Beyogi
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Sometimes less power is more story

This is overall a good story. It has a good dungeon system, an expansive world and is generally well written.

It's just the MC seems ridiculously overpowered. The special snowflake of special snowflakes. He's got so many special abilities, titles and traits that the author seems to forget or at least never use some. Other characters seem mostly tools and pretty flat. There are good ideas, but they get lost in the "my dungeon is extra special" thing the author seems to be pushing.

As a result there doesn't seem to be much story beyond the MC blundering his interactions with the sandbox that is this fantasy world.

Basically slice of life of an overpowered dungeon on his way to be even more overpowered. It's not bad if you like Dungeon stories, but the lack of challenge and plot is probably what killed this prematuretly.

Mister J.A
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Review at chapter 13

Thanks for this amazing dungeon story. I just finished it and I hope for mooooooore chapters.

The style is good, the story is great with some oversights, the grammar is acceptable and the characters are just great. You'll not find one cliche character and it's very hard to not use the predefined archetypes.

I've wanted to make this a comment since what I want to say will mostly(I hope) become irrelevant in some chapters later but I'll rather say it in a review for more impact. This is addressed to the author. Spoiler: Spoiler

 I recommend this novel. It's a great read.

callmesteve
Overall

A new take on a common idea.

Here, we don't have a new dungeon slowly gaining monsters and power. He is quite inexperienced, but has been accumulating power for millennia, and has some equally powerful monsters to back him up. He instantly goes for negotiotiations with the people nearby, and has a delightfully to-the-point attitude. The last two chapters as of before the time I write this are especially excellent. Psychic mushrooms and hilarious OP-ness strike again!

 

Sadly, it is currently on hiatus.

ZeroDivide
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

An excellent story with funny interludes and a lot of possibilities.  Grammer gets cleaned up a couple chapters later so its likely all good as long as the author returns.  Chapter length allows for a lot of character development with out being tedious

cjet799
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Good dungeon story, hope the author keeps going

This is the start of a good dungeon story.

Grammar and word choice gets a little rough in later chapters, but its still readable.

MC has some OP starting abilities, but he is still vulnerable to more powerful characters.

Author has put a lot of thought into the leveling up system, affinities, and monsters. 

Thall230
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Good story. Just have to flesh out your characters a bit more and work on the grammar. That's all I really have to say about that but I have to keep adding words to fit the amount needed for the review to be accepted. Really good story, and I can only see it getting better. Anyways yeah give it a read.

Letouriste
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

the prologue and first chapter are often the key for deciding if a reader will read your story so you need to make that reader-friendly if possible.

the way you wrote the sentences (in the start of the chapter 1 for example) make that hard to read.you would gain a lot by symplifying the description of the mc state of mind etc...

a few good ideas though :) there is not enough written for me to judge the story as a whole so all scores are temporary.

Rowing Saylor
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

This novel is fun to read with several amazing parts in it that I love. The issue is that it is very sporadic and is basically an OP MC playing in a sandbox. It starts off with a fun start than the story and powers go overboard and are completely wild. The characters while good are not good enough to make this story amazing.

I feel the original intent got lost as the author had fun trying to incorporate everything they were excited about. I'd still 100% reccommend it as it has some fun concepts to ponder and a full world.